Love is an Activity: Love and Romantic Relationships among academic students in Bandung, Indonesia
Since the mid-20th century a companionate marriage ideology has become dominant in Indonesia, replacing the previous arranged marriage. This radical transformation is not just a local development as it coincides with a global shift towards this marriage ideology that puts love and choice at the basis of marriage. The change in ideology has been noted by several authors, but none have looked at what ‘love’ comprises for young people who are looking for a girl- or boyfriend. Contrary to much research on love hitherto conducted, this study focuses on ‘what people do with love’ instead of ‘what love does to people’.
This research attempts to reveal how the companionate ideology has been appropriated locally among academic youth in Java by looking at the role of love in their courting activities and romantic relationships. Its data stems from participant observations, in-depth interviews, and focus group discussions conducted during a three-month fieldwork period among academic students in Bandung, Indonesia.
The findings confirm that love and choice have become central to romantic relationships among academic students. Love, however, is characterised by rationality and observance of familial and societal limitations. These limitations mainly focus on interfaith and intercultural relationships. Students themselves perceive a ‘different way of life’ between different religions and cultures and fear for divorce and break-up when starting a relationship.
Love itself is defined as the outcome of a rational process of consideration. Students consider the consequences of engaging in an interfaith or intercultural relationship before they start the relationship. These consequences can be severe and a negative outcome of the consideration therefore often deters students from pursuing of these relationships. Love is thus circumscribed by these limitations; affectionate feelings outside of a positive consideration are seen as ‘liking’. In that way, love resembles the rational criteria that parents used for selecting partners in the time of arranged marriages. Furthermore relationships are divided into three types: cinta monyet, fun and serious relationships; each with its own configuration of love and responsibility. The main implication of the research is that the social environment of emotions should not be ignored.
Love is an Activity: Love and Romantic Relationships among academic students in Bandung, Indonesia
Since the mid-20th century a companionate marriage ideology has become dominant in Indonesia, replacing the previous arranged marriage. This radical transformation is not just a local development as it coincides with a global shift towards this marriage ideology that puts love and choice at the basis of marriage. The change in ideology has been noted by several authors, but none have looked at what ‘love’ comprises for young people who are looking for a girl- or boyfriend. Contrary to much research on love hitherto conducted, this study focuses on ‘what people do with love’ instead of ‘what love does to people’.
This research attempts to reveal how the companionate ideology has been appropriated locally among academic youth in Java by looking at the role of love in their courting activities and romantic relationships. Its data stems from participant observations, in-depth interviews, and focus group discussions conducted during a three-month fieldwork period among academic students in Bandung, Indonesia.
The findings confirm that love and choice have become central to romantic relationships among academic students. Love, however, is characterised by rationality and observance of familial and societal limitations. These limitations mainly focus on interfaith and intercultural relationships. Students themselves perceive a ‘different way of life’ between different religions and cultures and fear for divorce and break-up when starting a relationship.
Love itself is defined as the outcome of a rational process of consideration. Students consider the consequences of engaging in an interfaith or intercultural relationship before they start the relationship. These consequences can be severe and a negative outcome of the consideration therefore often deters students from pursuing of these relationships. Love is thus circumscribed by these limitations; affectionate feelings outside of a positive consideration are seen as ‘liking’. In that way, love resembles the rational criteria that parents used for selecting partners in the time of arranged marriages. Furthermore relationships are divided into three types: cinta monyet, fun and serious relationships; each with its own configuration of love and responsibility. The main implication of the research is that the social environment of emotions should not be ignored.
